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Civil Unions vs. Gay Marriage
When a large amount of heterosexual couples began to establish committed, co-habitating relationships without marriage, governments recognized the need for de facto, or 'common-law', spousal rights by passing laws providing property, custody and dependent rights to de facto partners. Similar arrangements have been made in various areas as a way of legally recognizing the committed relationships of gay couples, in a mix between de facto partnerships and marriage called a civil union.
There have been arguments in the gay marriage debate about gay civil unions from both supporters of gay marriage and anti-gay marriage groups. Supporters of gay marriage argue that civil unions cannot replace the right to marry and are a way of segregating gay couples. This argument is based on the fact that heterosexual couples can access two legal avenues to register their commitment: marriage, which requires a ceremony and a signed legal document, or de facto partnership, which requires no contract at the time and only basic proof at dissolution if there are any property disputes. Gay couples can only access civil unions, a separate entity.
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LoveandPride.com Tip: Gifts for the Gay Couple
If you're in the market to do a little gay shopping for that special couple you know, here are some great options for gay wedding gifts that every same-sex household can use.
Barware
Cookbooks
Lighting
Gay artwork (sculpture, paintings, prints, etc.)
Luxury bedding
Gay jewelry
Gay-themed classic films and/or music
Tickets to Broadway shows
Gift certificates to gay-friendly shops
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How to Organize a Gay Adoption
The first step when deciding to adopt is to investigate the adoption laws of your state and country. The laws regarding gay and lesbian adoption vary from country to country. Most of Western Europe allowed gay couples to adopt, and many of the states in Canada and the US have laws allowing gay adoption. Only three states in Australia< allow gay adoption.
In the US, some courts have begun to apply a "best interest of the child" idea in deciding cases. Over 22 states have allowed gay and lesbian adoption of children through state-run adoption centres or private adoption agencies.
The next step in the process is to decide whether to go through state agencies or approach a private adoption agency. The state process involves a lot of red tape, but is guaranteed legal in every country.
Private adoption agencies can be expensive and it is important to ensure the adoptions are legal. Similarly, international adoption is possible, but very expensive. Check your country's adoption laws very carefully to ensure that as a gay couple you can bring a child into the country.
Gay couples have adopted children for a very long time through deception, but it is important to be absolutely honest in the adoption process. Assuring a legal adoption will keep your child safe. Even if you are unable to adopt as a same-sex couple, it may be possible for one partner to adopt and the other to have rights to the child as a stepchild. To estimate your chances of getting a gay adoption in your country, look at local gay adoption statistics.
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LoveandPride.com Tip: Wearing The L Word
For the height in lesbian accessories, try wearing jewelry that has been made famous on Showtime's lesbian drama, "The L Word." Stylist and designer Cynthia Summers has selected an array of jewelry from bracelets to pendants and more -- all of which have the fashion- and pride-conscious gay woman in mind. And, of course, many of the pieces have been featured on the show itself. As Summers states, "The rest of the world needs to see the people first and sexuality second, and realize that style comes from within."
Where can you get The L Word collection for yourself? Visit LovendPride.com to view and order your favorites.
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Gay Marriage Laws in American States
Massachusetts is the only state in America that will perform a same-sex wedding. You may travel to Massachusetts to be married – however, be careful to check your local laws and gay marriage facts to make sure that your marriage will be recognised at home. Couples wishing to marry in Massachusetts must file a Notice of Intent to Marry and wait three days. Marriage law in Massachusetts also denies marriage licences to couples whose home states have a ban on gay marriage.
Nineteen states – Alaska, Nevada, Montana, Oregon, Utah, Nebraska, Missouri, Michigan, North Dakota, Ohio, Kentucky, Oklahoma, Kansas, Louisiana, Arkansas, Georgia, Mississippi, Texas and Alabama - have banned gay marriage.
Vermont, California, New Jersey, District of Columbia and Connecticut are the only U.S. states to offer same-sex couples all or some of the state-level rights and benefits of marriage. Hawaii and Maine's domestic partnership and reciprocal benefit laws provide some but not all benefits.
Marriages performed in Canada still need to be recognized in your home state.
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LoveandPride.com Tip: Gay Wedding Registry
For many soon-to-be-married couples, the best way to get the gifts they want is to register at department stores and specialty boutiques. The same can certainly be said for same-sex couples. However, the advantage for these unions is that gay gifts can be purchased by registering with gay-friendly stores. How do you know which stores are geared toward the homosexual lifestyle? To start, you can do a simple search online for gay-friendly wedding services and companies. From there, follow the links and request information about registry services. When you send out your announcements, list the names of the companies with which you are registered and give your guests the link, phone number, and address (if the shop has a physical address).
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Children of Gay Marriages
The idea of a same-sex wedding has not been legal long enough and in enough countries for statistics to be developed on children of gay marriages, but there are many children living in stable gay households in America and the rest of the world.
In the US , the number of children in gay and lesbian homes was between six and 10 million in 2000. The number of unmarried partner households has increased dramatically in the last ten years, possibly from the establishment of stable gay families. In 1990, 3 million unmarried partnerships existed in America, but by 2000 the number was over 5 million, although this number includes heterosexual couples. In 2005, 4,855,000 households were unmarried heterosexual partnerships which, if the increase was stable, indicates roughly 1.5 million gay partnerships in America today.
One third of lesbian couples and one fifth of gay male couples have children.
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LoveandPride.com Tip: Lesbian Fashion Influence
If you watched and enjoyed the fashions on HBO's "Sex and the City," you may not have realized what you were looking at was lesbian fashion ... of a sort. "Sex and the City"'s costume designer Patricia Field, who is a lesbian, influenced female fashion with her costume choices for the characters on “Sex and the City.” Field often chose over-the-top girlie clothes as well as do-rags and poorboy caps to clothe the ladies on the show. The result was that many clubs in New York City began to be filled with women donning the new trends they'd seen on the show the night before. Lesbian fashion has certainly made an impact on women across the lines of sexual preference -- thanks to a little lesbian design!
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Marriage Symbols Other Than Rings
A ring is an immediately recognizable and traditional symbol of legal commitment, but it isn't always convenient to wear a ring. Some professions make rings dangerous to wear, and some people find rings irritating or painful.
One option is to wear gay or lesbian wedding rings on a chain around the neck. This way, the ring is always visible, and the traditional cultural recognition of being married is still available. However, the giving of any piece of jewelry from one partner to another is also a traditional symbol of commitment. Giving your partner a special necklace, bracelet or even a piercing is still a sign of the commitment and love you share. The design and style of the piece is the most important element of symbolizing your commitment to each other.
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Churches for Gay Weddings
There are many churches that will allow same-sex marriages to be conducted within their walls, but as most religions as a whole do not perform gay weddings, couples need to search within their preferred denominations for ministers for their weddings.
For more information on churches allowing same-sex marriages, the quickest resource is through local publications - those articles will usually note the church conducting the ceremony.
The Association of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists has a list of Baptist churches that are gay-friendly. The Metropolitain Community Church is renowned for its support of gay rights. Dignity USA provides information on Catholic views of gay marriage.
Some Jewish Rabbis are authorised to bless same-sex unions. Consult the World Congress of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Jews, or the Keshet Ga’avah, to find Rabbis in your area.
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Countries That Are For Gay Marriage
Countries that perform gay marriages as of 2006 include:
The Netherlands (legalized in 2001)
Belgium (2003)
Spain (2005)
Canada (2005).
In the United States, only Massachusetts (2004) allows gay marriage. People who are not residents of Massachusetts and whose home state prohibits same-sex marriage cannot be married there.
Same-sex marriage is to be legalized in South Africa by December 2006. Estonia is discussing the possibility of legalising gay marriage. Ireland does not allow gay marriage, but a couple married in Canada and seeking to have their marriage recognized will have their case heard in October 2006.
Some countries have been forced to allow gay marriage due to judicial appeals. As of 2004, Aruba, as part of the Netherlands, recognizes same-sex marriages performed in the Netherlands. In Austria, where it is likewise not legal, in July 2006, an Austrian male-to-female transsexual was granted the right to legally change her gender to female while remaining married to her wife, indirectly setting a precedent for same-sex marriage.
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Churches That Support Gay Marriage
Although many churches allow gay members, few agree with or perform gay marriage. In Christianity, only Unitarian Universalist and the Metropolitan Community Churches will perform gay marriage ceremonies.
One Canadian Anglican diocese, New Westminster, authorized a rite for the blessing of same-sex unions, but the Anglican church as a whole, meeting on the issue, decided that gay marriage conflicted with Anglican beliefs.
Judaism traditionally bans homosexuality, but is presently reconsidering the issue. While Islam doesn't recognize homosexuality as a concept, all anal intercourse is prohibited.
Creator of Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard, spoke out against homosexuality, and the church's doctrine defines marriage as between one man and one woman.
In Buddhism, the Dalai Lama doesn't support homosexuality, but opinions differ in other sections of Buddhism. There is no exact mention in Buddhist texts to ban gay marriage. The same is true in Hinduism. In modern India, sex between men is illegal, but there is nothing in the religion that bans it. The Taoist tradition holds that men and women need the energies of the opposite sex to obtain balance. Homosexuality is not expressly forbidden, but discouraged.
Wiccans, and practitioners of voodoo welcome gay members and have no recorded objections to gay marriages.
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Sensual Jewelry
It is common knowledge that the female body is a very sensual entity, but few people recognize jewelery as an opportunity to explore that sensuality. Luckily, the broad-mindedness of gay culture allows lesbians to explore the sensual possibilities in gay and lesbian jewelery. Instead of piercing yourself with a real nipple ring, a couple can use non-piercing nipple clasps. These clasps gently clench the nipple with their closures, holding it slightly erect. Nipple clasps come in designs meant to look like piercings, or in a full-areola circle that covers the areola and decorates the breast. For those who can withstand the thought of piercings, tongue barbells are the perfect lesbian accessories. Just make sure that the barbell is not too big and has no sharp edges!
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Where to Find Gay Wedding Rings
There is currently a wide selection of gay wedding bands available. Gay and lesbian wedding rings range from the traditional and classic to contemporary gay pride designs. As more gay couples seek out marriage or commitment ceremonies, the demand for gay wedding bands has meant designers of gay jewelry can afford to advertise. Keep a lookout in gay culture magazines, street press and mainstream beauty magazines for gay jewellery designs. Mainstream wedding bands are also worth consideration. Most mainstream wedding rings are designed along classical lines if a traditional wedding ring appeals.
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Big Events in Gay Marriage
Many protests have been made around the world over the absence of gay marriage rights. Some of these have taken the form of local governments approving gay marriages to test the existing marriage laws of their country. Here are some of the big events:
In France in 2004, Noel Mamere, the mayor of Begles conducted a same-sex wedding ceremony. The marriage was later voided and the mayor faced death threats.
In the US, there was a test of San Francisco gay marriage law. In 2005, marriage licences were issued to 4,037 same-sex couples. In all, 3,995 gay marriages were performed before the Supreme Court issued a stay of proceedings and voided the marriages. The rebellion showed the overwhelming support in the gay community for marriage.
In Oregon, when Multnomah and Benton counties fought the state to be allowed to perform same-sex marriages, Benton county officers refused to perform ceremonies of any kind until a decision was reached by the court. Benton county officers received threats and reprimands during the period gay marriage licences were issued.
In many other cases around the world, gay couples have been married in a country allowing gay marriage and fought to have their marriage recognized in their home country. While these attempts have often failed, the successful attempt creates a precedent that allows all gay couples to access the same avenue to marriage.
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Gay Wedding Traditions
Gay couples are in a position to pick and choose among wedding traditions from various cultures. Couples should investigate the wedding traditions of their ancestral cultures, and make a list of general traditions they would like to include.
Some traditions will appeal to all couples, such as the kissing of your new spouse, and the introduction of the newly married couple to their gathering of friends after the ceremony. Traditions that will reinforce the magnitude of the commitment a gay couple is making will help to demonstrate why marriage is so important to gay couples.
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Choosing Between Conventional and Contemporary Rings
The choice between conventional and contemporary when choosing gay wedding rings may be a difficult decision. As wedding rings are worn every day, it is important to find a wedding band that has a style that appeals and sends the message you want.
An advantage of conventional wedding rings is that they are immediately recognizable -“ one look at a gold band on the wedding finger assures that the wearer is married. However, gay wedding rings also symbolize your commitment to being united as a gay couple. Featuring gay symbols, such as the gay pride triangle or the Venus or Mars symbols, is a way of publicly expressing pride in being in a committed gay relationship.
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